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Sexual Numbness When Dealing With Cheating Or An Affair: Tips That Might Help
“The biggest damage to our marriage because of my husband’s affair is our sex life. The other woman was everything that I am not – young, thin, and beautiful. I don’t want to tear myself down. I know that I am not ugly. But after nursing two children and having two pregnancies, my body can not compete with a young woman who is at her prime weight and who has never had children. It is very hard for me to engage with my husband sexually. He seems into it and enthusiastic, but I wonder if this is only for my benefit. I will feel like I want to have sex, but then when it actually comes down to it, I find that I am basically just numb. I want to actively participate and to enjoy myself like I used to, but I find that my mind just wanders. This hasn’t been a huge problem with me in the past. Am I always going to feel numb like this when we have sex? Why is this happening? And how can I stop it?”
Should You Forgive Yourself After Cheating? Is This Healthy? Or Selfish?“It stinks that I even have to say this. But I cheated on my husband. I haven’t really started counseling, but this wonderful woman from my church, who I see as sort of my mentor, told me that I have to forgive myself. She said that I’m not going to be able to be the best wife or the best mother I can be while I’m going through life feeling like a person who doesn’t matter. She said that of course I will need to make things right with my husband, but I also need to make things right with myself. I was telling a friend about this wish to forgive myself. This woman’s husband is my husband’s best friend. She was not very receptive. She said that this idea seems a little selfish. She said that cheating is an awful thing and that I should not even think about forgiving myself until my husband can forgive me. Should I just give up on the idea of forgiving myself?”
