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My Cheating Spouse Feels Guilty So He Doesn’t Reach Out To Me
“Is it normal for a husband to retreat after an affair because of guilt? My husband leaves me little notes or cards. He tells me how sorry he is and says that he hopes that one day we can recover from this. But then when we are physically together, he does not look me in the eye. I want him to reach out to me if for nothing else than it will give me the option to reject him. The other day, I got frustrated and I asked him if he were going to just sit there and be mute for the rest of our lives. I asked him why he never says anything. His response was that his guilt as paralyzed him and he doesn’t feel as if he has the right to speak with, interact with, or physically reach out to me. He almost insinuated that he was waiting for me to take the lead, which frankly all but enrages me. I have to tolerate his cheating and now I am stuck having to be the one who initiates everything when he is the one who cheated? That hardly seems fair.”
My Husband Has Found Religious Faith After His Affair“I can’t claim that my husband has never been religious. He attended church regularly when he was a child. But as an adult, my husband has not been particularly religious. This has all changed after his affair. I will admit that he was extremely remorseful. He begged for my forgiveness. I am still not sure if I am going to give it to him. I have not kicked him out or filed for divorce. But he’s getting nothing but the cold shoulder from me and I’ve yet to decide what to do about my marriage. Shortly after I found out about the affair, my husband got out his bible and would read it for hours every night. Initially, he would read the passages about how God condemned adulterers. Later though, he started saying that God has great forgiveness as long as you repent and admit your sins. It’s as if he thinks that because God offers forgiveness, I too should forgive him. I’m not ready to do that. And part of me wonders if this is all just a prop. But how can I tell a man that he can’t read his Bible? It’s so frustrating how everything has changed.”
How To Get Rid of the Other WomanYour husband had an affair. He came back and wants to reconcile, but the other woman keeps hanging around. What can you do to get rid of her? Five tips to getting rid of the other woman.
Why Am I Blaming Myself When My Spouse Is The One Who Cheated?“Why am I not surprised that my husband cheated on me? I have been bracing myself for this all along. I gained some weight when I had my kids and my husband made it very clear that he was not happy about this, but I didn’t lose the weight. I kept putting it off and I told myself that I would get to it eventually, but I never did. Then my husband has repeatedly told me that I am too wrapped up in the kids and that I never seem to have time for him. I heard what he was saying, but that is another thing that I figured that I would address in the future. This makes me quite angry at myself. He was basically telling me that there were some things that were making him unhappy. He was giving me warning signals. But I ignored them. So now I realize that one of the people who I have to blame is myself. I’m frankly angry at myself. I feel like a fat slob who prioritized her kids instead of her husband.”
How Can I Get My Husband To Discuss His Cheating?“How in the world do I get my husband to talk about his cheating and his affair?” He told me the basics about it because I caught him. If I had never caught him, there is no doubt that he would have never admitted to it. And even now that I have caught him, he says as little as is possible. He will tell me the basics – who the other woman was, where it happened, and how many times it happened. When I try to get specifics or I ask him why he would do this, he says something very generic like: ‘honestly I do not have many answers for you. I don’t know why I did this. I don’t plan to do it again and that is pretty much all I can tell you. Insisting on more information is a dead end because I don’t have it.’ Why would he be so elusive about this? His clamming up makes me think that there is even worse information that he doesn’t want me to know – which makes me determined to find out all that I can. How do I get him talking about his cheating?”
